Crying
by epiphanies
Summary: Somebody is watching Buffy world after Buffy left it. Pensive, shortish and angsty. I like it.


Crying

*A short fic, try and guess who these people are!!!! Ten points to the first one who reviews!!!!*

  
  
  
  


You just sit there.

Crying.

Sobbing.

Holding my pillow on my bed, my sister and Watcher and friends downstairs, not knowing that you are up here or even allowed in my house.

Here you are.

Laying in my bed.

Smelling my covers, snuggling up to my stuffed animals, staring at the pictures on my walls, and crying.

Always crying.

For days, this is all you've done.

None of them have even looked in my room yet.

Just you.

It's like your new home that never would have been if I was around.

I remember so many things, but they are like memories from a dream, hardly recognizable for something real.

But it was real.

I know that when I watch you.

I watch you, and I know that you want to watch me, but you can't.

Nobody can.

I can watch, though. Watch every little thing that I'm missing. Watch everything that I would have missed. Watch everything happen that never would have happened if I was there.

None of the tears, none of the pain. None of that would have happened if I was there.

So, you lay on my bed, with my stuffed animals, my pictures, my scent and my memories, and cry. Just cry.

You can't do anything else, I've watched you try. You've tried to come downstairs, but every time you hear them talking, hear them crying and you know you can't. You can hardly keep your own pain under control, let alone having to deal with theirs.

You aren't a monster. You know it and I know it.

You can love.

You know that because you loved me. Maybe you still do, or love my memory.

Whichever it is, I know that you did. I doubted it for a while, but now I know. I've met the real you.

He's up there, where I live now. He lives near me. His name is William, a mere spirit. He talks about you all the time. I know your soul. I never would have guessed what a wonderful person you were, how sweet, kind, and vulnerable you were. How much of that is still in you, I know when I watch you right now. Watch you crying in my bed.

And you were right, he is a terrible poet. But he loved it. He recites Shakespeare to me all the time. And he does it beautifully. Maybe you know it, maybe you don't. Maybe that's why you find comfort in my room. Because you can feel my presence and you just can't see me, can't hear me. 

But I'm here.

I will always be here.

Waiting until you leave the world you are in, to come in mine.

You've made your deal with God.

You loved your enemy, you helped your enemy. You forgave your enemy. You may not know it, neither will anyone else until it actually happens, but when it's your time, you'll meet up with William. You'll meet up with you soul. It will only happen to a select few, but you are one of, excuse the title that I had to carry, "The Chosen One".

Enjoy the rest of your time. Please, don't sit around mourning over somebody whom you would never have. I never would have let you.

I have seen *ahem, excuse the pun* the light. 

I understand now.

And I'm sorry.

I'm sorry how I treated you, and how we treated each other. I'm sorry about all you lost when you lost me. I'm sorry that you're grieving. I"m sorry that you're laying in my bed all alone inhaling the scent of me that's still there because that's all you have left. It's your life line. I'm sorry about everything.

Please.

Forget about her.

Remember the me that I am now. Remember the girl that would have loved you no matter what you seemed to be, no matter what her friends and family would have thought.

Don't grieve over the girl that wanted you dead for so long. Don't grieve for the girl that never wanted to admit that she loved you.

Grieve for me.

Not for her.

Love me, not her.

I watch you, wondering how long this will last. How long you will be waiting before you find the answer that you've been waiting for. How long it will take you to come to me.

I guess now I'm the one left waiting.

Well, I have William to keep my company.

I really am sorry.

I watch you, laying on my bed, with my stuffed animals, my pictures, my scent and hope that you will always remember me.

I love you.

See you soon.


End file.
